When the subject of suicide comes up, my husband always says, “What a selfish thing to do.” That tells me he doesn’t understand the state of mind one is in at the time he/she is considering it. It is a subject that unfortunately often comes up when one has a mental illness or brain injury. It can be seen as weak, strong, selfish, yet giving. It all depends on who you ask.
I have bipolar disorder, which is an imbalance in neurotransmitters/chemicals in the brain. I have had suicidal ideations in the past. From someone who has considered it, I see this act as strong, because we all have the innate will to live. I can see it from several points of view.
I can see it the way my husband does, as selfish. One takes themselves away from those who love them. It can be seen as weak by outsiders, because by killing oneself they don’t have to go through what is difficult for them.
I would have done it, because I felt like a burden, and as though the world would be better off without me. My loved ones wouldn’t have to deal with me, the mood swings, the difficult times I cause, hurting people with my words and acts. In that way, it can be seen as giving. The mental pain can be unbearable, a deep sadness and inability to see any positive.
We can debate all we want, but is any of us really wrong? I believe it’s all of them.
Suicide and brain injury
There are different reasons depression can lead to suicide after a brain injury. Our brain chemicals are different, and that is one reason. Unfortunately, there are many others. We see ourselves as strangers, different than before, unrecognizable. There are so many things we may be unable to do; our deficits may be abundant. Losing all of one’s friends, and possibly one’s family can be devastating. Life becomes so lonely, the person may not actually want to die, they just want the pain to stop.
I know for me, the pain of depression and sadness can be too much. The wish is to end the pain- NOT my life. I believe that is how it is for many that take these drastic measures. It is usually an impulsive act in a moment of pain and that is it- their life is over.
The real question is, do we have enough strength at that moment NOT to do it?
If you have even a fleeting thought about killing yourself, PLEASE tell someone:
A parent, a teacher, a sibling, a friend, or even a boss. If none of those are a choice, PLEASE call the SUICIDE HOTLINE. Call the phone # 988
SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO A TEMPORARY PROBEM.
Dawn Corbelli 
Dawn, having been delivered from two attempts I have now come to the conclusion that it is a most selfish act as your husband said. My daughter was recently feeling like her medical situation was just too much for her. when I asked her if she was making a plan she said only briefly as she realized how much pain and sorrow it would cause for her husband, her brother and her parents. I wrote much about this in the last chapter of mental Health Meltdown. There is a voice that comes when these thoughts begin, it is the voice of our enemy. We must fight every day to have the best life possible in between the stuff we can’t control. When we sense that voice, we must remember that The Beauty of life is that we have another chance!
. Bipolar is a yoyo of emotions, a scream that has no limit, a thrill higher than a kite can fly, a fall that has no bottom, and feelings that have no treatable cause. When I am down there is no end and when I am up there is no limit. Bipolar is a merry go round that has no golden ticket to capture. I am thankful for the medication which at least gives me the ability to choose how I will respond, being aware that whatever I choose to escape the pain may well become an addiction.
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Hi Paul,
I can definitely see how taking ones life is seen as selfish. In the debate with my husband I try to get across to him that in my opinion it can be seen in several ways and none of them is wrong.
The bottom line is that suicide is a tragic event and hurts everyone that cares about him or her. May God be with anyone thinking of taking their life and lead them to a different decision. Amen.
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all of this… I felt every word for many reasons as you know & you spoke from your heart.. I know this for I truly know “ this was EXACTLY what my son was feeling, Thank you Dawn for being here and for giving a voice for the ones who are not…
our beautiful boy with eyes that smile left our world much too soon.. Seth will forever give light to the darkness.. through his own story and through you & your daughters as well… because you have chosen to give light~ thank you♥️🪽🗣️
#beheretomorrow
#givinglighttodarkness
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Hi Laura,
I’m so pleased that you read my blog. I thought of you when I wrote it and wondered how you would feel about it. I know that you unfortunately have too much experience on this subject and I am sorry for your loss. I would be interested to know what you think of suicide as far as it being selfish, weak, strong, or giving.
Thank you for your comment. I hope to hear back from you.
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