Hitting Your Mental Wall is a Thing

Things just seem so much worse when you are mentally exhausted, and you have hit a wall from doing too much. My older daughter Kylie and I were so busy when we were out of town at the Navy graduation. As I wrote in my last blog, I was able to hold it together mentally and physically when I needed to, almost.

On that third day, I was so proud of myself, and didn’t know where my energy and clarity had come from.  However, by the afternoon that third day, we visited my brother and his family, and I noticed I was getting overstimulated and mentally drained. After our two-and-a-half-hour visit, I was overtired to the point that my filter had disappeared. I was completely depleted. I thought back over our conversation and I feel as if I “word vomited”. I became a bit embarrassed about some of the things I had said and shared. Kylie and I got back to our hotel room just a little while later and I burst into tears. I was done. My body was tired, my mind was tired, and I didn’t understand where all of my negative emotions and tears were coming from.

I changed into my jammies and laid in bed and cried because I felt foolish for some of the things I remembered saying. Kylie came to the side of the bed to rub my hair, and said, “Mom, you need sleep!” She knew this was coming because I cannot go and go without hitting a wall eventually.

We came home the next day, Sunday. Good thing, because I was coming down with something. A couple hours after arriving home, we had our previously planned annual Halloween Pumpkin Carving Party. It was hard for me to sort the pumpkin seeds to bake and keep up with the conversation. I couldn’t concentrate because my head was foggy. I felt as if my head was in the clouds. After that, for the next two days, I did nothing but sleep. My body had to recover along with my brain.  

By Tuesday, I knew I wasn’t prepared to teach the high school students Veronica and I planned to teach on the following day, Wednesday. I was sick, too. I was down on myself for everything, as if I had made NO good accomplishments since my brain injury. I was looking at other brain injured survivors as I often do when I am feeling like this and comparing my accomplishments to theirs.  

NEVER EVER COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS. ONLY COMPARE YOURSELF TO YOURSELF!!!

Some of them have done and do similar things as I do, but for some reason I do not see what I have done as enough. I just do not see MY achievements when I feel this way.

After a couple more days of rest, I was feeling like my old self, strong mentally and physically, and I was able to see all the good I have done in the world, again.

If you would like to read more about our family’s life, as we live in our brain injury world, please read my book titled,

A Miracle a Day, One Day at a Time: Hope After Traumatic Brain Injury

My book is available many places online, this link is one of them if you would like to check it out and/or purchase my book

https://store.bookbaby.com/book/a-miracle-a-day-one-day-at-a-time

I am very blessed. I have been capable of accomplishing many things I have tried to since my brain injury, but I must say, sometimes it isn’t as easy as I may make it sound.

We are here to support each other. Remember you are NOT alone on this often-difficult journey.

Thank you for reading my blog.