Just One Thing

My 31-year-old daughter Veronica had trouble pumping gas yesterday. She felt so bad. She couldn’t get my money card to work. The questions on the screen confused her. Then she couldn’t get the gas to flow out of the pump handle. You had to hold it just right or the gas wouldn’t pump. Finicky pump. She knew I was very tired and really wanted to help me, so she kept apologizing for not being able to help. She becomes very discouraged in situations like this and puts herself down. I kept saying, “You help me with so many things. Please don’t feel bad. You are very helpful and there are so many things you can do.” Veronica said, “I really don’t need to know how to pump gas because I will never drive.” She is right. Sometimes I think twice about writing all the good in our lives, and there is so much, all because of one person’s comment. It’s true you can get 1000 compliments and when just one person says something negative, that’s what you focus on.

Veronica has a severe traumatic brain injury and I have a moderate traumatic brain injury and we do our best to be very positive people. To my dismay we have actually been judged for being positive. We do what we can and there are so many things we can do. One said, “Your injury must not be that bad.” That made me fume. I was so so angry because our struggles have been many just like other brain injured people.

We so often talk about the good in our lives because we try not to dwell on the bad. It certainly doesn’t mean bad and negative has not happened in our lives. You don’t come through these injuries without hurt and hard times. The first 10 years were so hard. It seemed having close friends was something of the past. About three years ago, Veronica and I decided we were left on this earth for a purpose and that we want to be advocates of brain injury awareness. We go to high schools to teach about brain injuries. We have taught over 800 students, teachers, and counselors about brain injuries since last year. We have taught 30 classes and yet I still hold my papers while we do the slide show because I have a horrible memory and want to make sure we share all the facts we are capable of. I lose my words and stand there describing what it is I am trying to say. Luckily Veronica and I have spent enough time together that she is usually able to guess what I am trying to say. Veronica sometimes can’t stand through the entire presentation so must sit because her left side was previously paralyzed, and her left ankle still swells and hurts after all these years. After teaching a class or two, Veronica and I are so overstimulated we go home and must sleep a couple hours to feel rested enough to go on with our day. We many times teach three days in a row, just a class or two in a day, and on that third day I often become so exhausted I feel nauseous and get a headache and must sleep many hours to recover and take the next few days to do nothing but rest. We only teach once per school semester per school and right now only teach at a couple schools, so it is manageable. But this is all such a blessing. We are capable of teaching even with prompts. We feel great about helping others understand. The respect we get for doing it feels so good. We can flip the negative things into positives. You must count your wins. Even with our losses we have so many gains. We have a supportive family, something we never lose sight of. I have a passion I would not have had, had we not been in this situation. I have gained brain injured friends I love so dearly that I would not have met had I not had a brain injury myself, because I am on brain injury support groups.

I feel so offended that anyone could say, “Your injury must not be that bad.” Veronica has lost so much in her life. She cannot work, drive, lives at home, and we have guardianship of her. Those things do not come from…your injury must not be that bad. By the way, this comment came from a survivor. But Veronica is a nicer person with more empathy and is closer to God than ever before. This brain injury life has not been all bad and we are determined every day to find the good we can in people, situations, and we believe things happen for a reason.

Find just one positive in your life. Do you have enough food, can you take yourself to the bathroom? If not, do you have someone to help you? Can you see what’s going on around you. I know a lady that cannot see, but her computer somehow reads her my blogs. She has found ways to live in her sightless life. She is an inspiration to me. Are you reading this blog? That means you are capable of reading. Or maybe someone is reading it to you. That means you are capable of hearing. That is a huge win. If you find one thing to be grateful for every day, and concentrate on that, your day will be better than if you hadn’t found that one good thing. #amiracleadayonedayatatime #corbellistrong

If you are interested in knowing more about the first 12 years of our journey, please read my book titled,

A Miracle a Day, One Day at a Time: Hope After Traumatic Brain Injury

It is available on Bookbaby Bookshop, Amazon, or almost anywhere books are sold online.

If you purchase one, please leave an honest review. I would love to hear what you think of it.

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Count your blessings and have a beautiful week!