Fatigue is one of the most commonly reported effects after a brain injury. Unlike “normal” fatigue, which is time limited and alleviated by rest, the intense feeling of fatigue after brain injury may be present most of the time and can have a significant impact on quality of life. Fatigue is a feeling of exhaustion, tiredness, or lack of energy. The cause of fatigue after TBI is not clear but may be due to the extra effort and attention it takes to do even simple activities such as walking or talking clearly. Brain function may be less efficient than before the injury. Source: Headway.org.uk Drained by Fatigue. I personally even find showering to be exhausting many times. The simplest things can seem to be too much. Sometimes I’m not able to prepare food for my family, or even just for myself. Doing the dishes can seem like such a huge feat some days. All these things can seem so overwhelming. I know I should only focus on one thing at a time and be proud of myself for even doing one. That is how I feel about others. It is so easy to look at others and congratulate them for doing one thing when I know it’s hard for them. I used to be able to do so many things in a day. But with this brain injury, I am just not able to. Admitting that to myself is so hard. I support other brain injured people and that goes completely against what I am about to say. “I feel like after all this time, 15 years, I should be back to my old self.” Logically I know that isn’t even possible. I don’t think about that hardly ever, but today I face it. OK, now I’m crying because I know these things, but they don’t feel good.
I find that about every couple weeks I must take a day or two and simply hibernate and do nothing because I have allowed myself to become so busy, I feel like I am drowning. I write appointments on my calendar and have even written “No appointments. Stay home,” on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are the days I go to the gym, schedule appointments and run errands. Once I am out and about it seems I add another stop or two to my list. Do any of you brain injured people reading this not know how to pace yourself? I am having so much trouble with that. I am a wife, mother of a severely brain injured daughter who is high functioning, but not independent. She lives at home, my husband and I have guardianship of her, and she does not drive. Knowing the possibility that she may never be able to drive, I told myself while she was still hospitalized 15 years ago, that I would drive her everywhere. Because she has lost so much of her independence, I try very hard to say yes when she wants to go places. I Do not know how people that work outside the home even manage to get other things done. On Tuesdays and Thursdays when I am home, I end up making appointments, making sure our medicine cases are filled and that the medicine is ordered when necessary, and I do necessary paperwork. I feel fried. I take naps almost every day when I do not have places to be. I am 15 years post moderate traumatic brain injury, and I thought after the first few years, I wouldn’t be so fatigued anymore. But here I am, super fatigued. I live a busy life making many goals for myself. Every day I make a list of things to do the next day.
I have taken our horrible traumatic experience and turned it into something positive and good. Veronica and I go to high schools and educate students and teachers about brain injuries. I find this so rewarding and I am so proud of this accomplishment. We did it yesterday, but I went to the gym first and I was so worn out by the time I showered and got ready to leave, that I was crying. I was exhausted before I began. In hindsight I now know my body and my brain cannot handle doing both of those things in the same day. The exhaustion from pushing too hard has kept me down for two days. I know I need to slow down, and I know no one can do that for me.
Whether you are brain injured or not, please find your limits and rest when you need to.
If you would like to read and learn more about our lives as we live with brain injuries, please read my book titled,
A Miracle a Day, One Day at a time: Hope After Traumatic Brain Injury
It is available at Poor Richards Books and Gifts in downtown Colorado Springs and almost anywhere online. Google me.
You can buy my book from my website on Amazon. Go to Menu and click Book and it will come up.
Have a beautiful, blessed week.
Dawn Corbelli 