Years ago, now, Veronica was horribly sexually taken advantage of, twice. I hate to use the word rape, but that is exactly what it was.
In the beginning after Veronica’s severe traumatic brain injury, she became very sexually oriented. The doctors told us that was a normal condition for many having brain injuries. We said, “Ok.” Not really knowing what to do with that piece of information. In the hospital within the first three months of her stay, she threw up her middle finger like there was no tomorrow. That, I think was her way of showing irritation and anger before she could speak again. But this sign certainly did not go away after her voice returned. Before ever leaving the hospital, she began describing the sexual things she wanted to do to her boyfriend, in detail. He was shocked. We were shocked. But all we could do was watch and listen. Once out of the hospital, this language, this gulf of perversion continued. For the following year, all of it was pointed toward her boyfriend. This is not to say while she was acting on her impulses we approved, but at least we knew she was with a kind, safe person, that was not going to hurt her. Once they broke up a year later, that’s when our real worries began.
Looking around, it did not matter if the guy, man, was single, married, handsome, or not. She had no limits. Veronica would try to entice them with sexual language in hopes they would act upon her offer. Some people would take her up on her offers. Others would fear them and her. Veronica did not only speak this way; she would also touch men’s faces and chests and speak close to their faces. She had no sense of personal space. She still doesn’t. Greg and I were constantly on guard. We feared for Veronica’s safety each and every time she was away from us, and we still do. As hard as we tried, two times we could not protect her. Both times the unspeakable happened. Both times, it was people we knew.
I cannot go into detail of any kind. Just know it was awful. The reason I am telling you this is because so many people just don’t understand the behaviors of brain injured people. Their impulsivity, for example, touching too much, and perverse speech, is so many times looked at as an exciting thing coming from a woman. But I am here to tell you, in Veronica’s case, she is an At Risk Adult and is so very vulnerable to the world around her. These behaviors have improved over the years, but they are certainly not gone. Now she aims them towards people she is attracted to: married, unmarried. It does not matter.
Anyone that knows Veronica, or us, may wonder why we keep her so close and have so many rules for our “30” year old daughter. This is why. We love our girl and want to keep her safe.
If you would like to read more about the behaviors and vulnerabilities of Veronica, our severely brain injured daughter, read my book titled,
A Miracle a Day, One Day at a Time: Hope After Traumatic Brain Injury
Available to buy on Amazon right here through my website. Just go to the Book choice on the menu and it is available in Paperback edition and Kindle edition.
Have a beautiful day everyone. I will be back with a new blog next Friday.
Dawn Corbelli 