So many of us suffer anxiety, depression, and even mania in my case. I have bipolar disorder, as I wrote about in my book, A Miracle a Day, One Day at a Time: Hope After Traumatic Brain Injury. I shared every detail of this particularly difficult episode of depression and mania, which I suffered, that lasted 3 months. During mania my many behaviors included staying up all night, wanting to drive as fast as I could into a brick wall, and walking 12 miles a day- with no build up.
I just woke up one day and began walking 10, then soon, 12 miles each morning after little to no sleep the night before. It took 3 hours a day, and I did it for roughly six weeks. Then after two weeks of normalcy came my depression that also lasted approximately six weeks. During my mania I emptied every drawer, cupboard, and closet, and cleaned and organized every bit of them. During depression daily life was so difficult. I couldn’t even shower very often at the thought of the energy it would take. Veronica would lay in bed with me while I cried, keeping me safe from my scary thoughts until I slept from exhaustion.
For the past couple weeks, I have not felt like myself. I was very quick to phone my doctor for blood work to make sure my thyroid medication was working. In case you didn’t know, a hypoactive thyroid can cause mood swings when one is not medicated properly.
I also contacted my psychiatrist, so he knew what I was experiencing. Honestly, it was only after about a week of feeling down, but my family and I act quickly when my moods become volatile. Due to past experience, it is always necessary to act fast, as I previously described.
I have been sitting by a light therapy lamp, used for SAD-Seasonal Affected Disorder (seasonal depression). It is a mood boosting light therapy. I honestly don’t know if it is the light helping, or rest and time helping, but I am thankfully feeling better. WHEW! Disaster averted.
With every high -mania episode, comes a low, depressive episode. But with every depressive episode does not come mania. I thought something was off because I was so exhausted but could not fall asleep to nap, and at bedtime I usually fall right to sleep, but that was not happening. This began before my depression symptoms, so I should have known that something was not quite right. I keep a very close eye on my change in thinking and my mood changes so I can get help before any episode has the slightest chance to develop. My family can usually see the changes before I realize them.
I know everyone has down periods. I just react quickly to mine because I am aware of the possible, very extensive, negative outcomes.
I am back. I am better. I am here. I am grateful.
Please help yourself when you don’t feel right mentally. Tell your family, friends, doctor, psychologist or psychiatrist, or a close friend if you have one. Depression can soon become life-threatening, and none of us ever wants that. Tell me, even. I will make time to talk. corbelli@q.com
I hope this blog finds my readers well, healthy, and safe. God Bless You All!
If anyone is interested in reading a moving book that will definitely assure you that you are not alone on your mental health/illness journey, I am co-author in Paul and Arlene Samual’s book titled,
Mental Health Meltdown available on Amazon, as is my book,
A Miracle a Day, One Day at a Time: Hope After Traumatic Brain Injury
Please take a moment to check them out.
Have a blessed week.
Dawn Corbelli 