How Long Did It Take You?

It took me 16 years to figure out I needed to do less in day to feel better. It has helped my mental health in a huge way. I have bipolar disorder and a moderate tbi and I am so much more stable nowadays. I am happier and more confident in my abilities because I don’t feel like I am falling short so often by expecting way too much of myself. 16 years! I wish I had figured it out sooner. But I think I know why it took me so long.

For the first 12 years after our brain injuries, Veronica with a severe and me with a moderate, I was so busy making sure Veronica’s every need was taken care of, I forgot about myself. She was so much worse off than I was, and her injuries were so much more severe. Our neuropsychologist told me many times it would be good for me to join a support group. I didn’t think I needed it. Afterall, Veronica was flourishing. I actually told people Veronica was in an accident. I literally forgot I was.

Anasognosia-denial of deficit. Lack of insight.

When you see your child come within breaths of dying, and I don’t think I am alone in this as a parent, that is all you can think about for many years. When writing my book 12 years post injury, it helped me realize many things about myself. It helped me see the real me. One of those things is that we are separate people, and I needed to give myself more attention.

So, I joined many online Facebook support groups. I have gotten to know the new brain injured me better. I see my deficits more clearly, and my gifts. I didn’t truly see myself for 12 years and it has taken me another four to learn how to handle all my new differences in my new life.

God is great. I have found myself and have finally figured out how to take care of myself while also taking care of Veronica’s needs. I am a wife, a mother of two daughters, and a caregiver.

If you would like to read more about how our family handled the first 12 years of our lives after Veronica and I sustained our brain injuries, please read my brain injury educational book about our journey, learning, and living, our new lives.

A Miracle a Day, One Day at a Time: Hope After Traumatic Brain Injury

https://store.bookbaby.com/book/a-miracle-a-day-one-day-at-a-time