Perspective and Attitude

I see the joy in my life. Do you? Can you?

When you have heard enough about my joy, please keep reading. It will surely put your life into perspective. Do I have a story for you! Some of you reading this may even be able to closely relate.

Veronica has a severe traumatic brain injury and I have a moderate traumatic brain injury. We have suffered just as other brain injured people have. I am sitting here on the couch, our comfortable couch with our dogs and each other, watching a documentary on tv. Being together is a joy. We had a lovely dinner together last night. Our daughters, together downstairs last night watching tv together, laughing. That was a joy.

Veronica, our younger brain injured daughter’s life was changed so very much. She never forgets she is loved. Many of her dreams have not and may not come true and she has finally mostly accepted that. Seeing and hearing her be happy, that is a joy. I have such a good life. Yes deficits, yes hard times, but my husband takes wonderful care of our family. That brings us all joy. He seems to have settled down a bit since his health scare last year. Not as much yelling, even at the football game on tv. I can’t put my finger on when that changed, but what a joy. Our older daughter, Kylie’s life hasn’t turned out as she planned, but she has friends and family holding her up right now. To know that she is “okay” through this rough time for her, oh what a joy. I’m so tired at the end of every day. I get in bed and thank God I have a bed to sleep in and pray for all those that don’t.

Yesterday was Thanksgiving. I began writing what I’m thankful and grateful for last week. This is the perfect week to post it. I have a cell phone. It is such a privilege. I was watching a video where a lady bought another family’s groceries, who could not afford them. My dad always said, “We live in a horrible world.” Horrible things happen, yes. But my world is beautiful with blessings and true joy. I look for them, I see them, I concentrate on them.

I am so sad for those without the blessings I enjoy. I pray for those people. I cry for them. I try to help them, but I know I can never do enough. It doesn’t matter what we eat as long as we can fill our bellies. It has never mattered where we have lived as long as we were together. Being a military family, we stayed in a hotel room with our dog for three months before. No fridge, just a microwave, but there was a tiny table we could share. As a military family we have experienced similar periods of time many times. Together is all I ever wanted. Wherever all of us were and are, that is where I call home. Our older daughter will sleep over the night before all the big holidays so we can wake up together and see each other. I jumped in her bed and snuggled her after I woke up yesterday. What an absolute joy! We watched the parade on tv together. Oh, how happy that makes me. Can you see? Can you hear? Can you swallow food? Look where you are and think closely about after your injury/ies, where you have come from. I mean I want everyone to think about these things. What a joy, here I write. What a joy I can hold my pen and hunt and peck on my keyboard. It’s the littlest things I am so joyful for. I have glasses that help me see and I can feel not only emotionally, but I can feel touch. I know many brain injured people don’t have this ability. I am praying for them, their strength, courage, and peace. Think about your blessings and the things that bring you joy. Write down the small things. I have a cup of coffee I’m drinking. Oh, how I love that in the morning.

Please, please, look within. Think about the smallest things you CAN DO, the smallest things you DO have. Not everyone has those things. There is always going to be someone who has it worse, unfortunately. This journey is all about perspective and attitude.

I know a lady whose daughter has a severe traumatic brain injury. Soon after her daughter came out of her coma she could talk, feed herself holding her own spoon, walk with assistance, and even call home asking her parents to bring her food. Then, there was a complication and she needed surgery. She had more than one procedure and part of her skull was removed. It went well and she recovered almost immediately. Then, another complication and another surgery. Slowly she lost all the functions she had. She had her skull replaced after five months and that was supposed to help her regain function, but it did the opposite, leaving her helpless. She was locked in, lost her voice, was partially paralyzed, not able to hold her head up, and lost her ability to swallow for nine months. Her mom was always grateful for the abilities her daughter regained after her daughter became conscious, but she was of course deeply saddened by the situation and often wondered if her daughter would ever come back to her. She really learned what thankfulness and joy meant when she found her daughter could use her right arm and a whiteboard to communicate. She could hold a spoon once again but couldn’t eat because she couldn’t swallow. Even to have as much recovery as there was in the beginning, it is still so easy to concentrate on the losses.

Life is about perspective and attitude. Never forget that. I know many brain injured people and their families are devastated by what has been lost in their lives, but thinking about not being able to swallow or hold your own head up really puts things in perspective for me.

I hope everyone reading this had a beautiful and blessed Thanksgiving. That holiday is over, but recognizing our blessings and what we are thankful for is something we need to do daily. I know my friend is counting her blessings as her daughter now lives in a nursing home. Her daughter can now hold her head up, she can now swallow and eat real food again, finally. Her daughter never did lose her cognitive abilities and can remember many things, including her mom’s recent birthday. What a joy for my friend to be wished a happy birthday by her daughter on the right day, even. What a joy she can now have simple conversation with her daughter. Things are getting better at a faster pace now, in leaps and bounds at times when no one ever thought any of it would be possible. We all need to learn to appreciate the smallest things because sometimes those things are really huge. God is so very great, and we must recognize the positives in our lives if we want to be happy, or at least happier.

If you would like to become brain injury educated and to read about our first 12 years of recovery after our brain injuries, please read my book titled,

A Miracle a Day, One Day at a time; Hope after Traumatic Brain Injury

Available almost anywhere online books are sold. Here is one

https://store.bookbaby.com/book/a-miracle-a-day-one-day-at-a-time

If you do read my book, please leave an honest review where you buy it and recommend it to someone you know.

Have a beautiful week.