Doctors Don’t Know Everything

My new psychiatrist looked at me sideways, lowering his eyebrows, when I told him I am on Naltrexone. He asked me what I am on it for. I told him it is used because of my brain injury. I go from calm to super angry in a matter of two seconds. I call it going from white, calm, to red, like seeing red in anger.  I have an overactive Amygdala, our emotional center. Many people who have PTSD react like this. It was as if he was questioning the validity of what I said. The look on his face and the tilt of his head made me think he didn’t believe me. Maybe he never heard of using it for the reason I am on it, but he should know this. He is a psychiatrist and the medicine was prescribed for me by another psychiatrist. It helps with my sudden outbursts of anger. It helps me have time to take a breath and think before exploding. He said, “Hmmm.”

He questioned me about the number of meds I’m on, which is many. However, right now currently, is the perfect cocktail. And having bipolar disorder and a brain injury makes that a gift. He just kept his eyebrows furrowed looking down at a piece of paper. I said, “You don’t want to have me on so many meds, right? I can tell.” I have heard this before. He said, “I would like to max out some and get you off others.” Well not right now! I went down that road before, going off my medications to begin another my provider thought would be better. It took me 2 years to become stable again. Don’t mess with it if it’s not broken.

I explained some of the symptoms of my brain injury. I asked if he knew anything about brain injuries. He said, “Some.” I told him it would be a good idea to become very educated about them and that I have published a book titled, A Miracle a Day, One Day at a Time: Hope After Traumatic Brain injury if he’s interested in learning. After all, many people have them and as a doctor he needs to know about them. I told him Veronica and I teach high school students about brain injuries.  He passed up what I said as if I never had. He continued, “You have accomplished a lot.” But that was the end of that conversation. It was as if he wasn’t interested in hearing about it. He again said “Hmmm.”. I thought, “That’s it?!” He had no interest in listening to anymore of what I had to say.

15 years, and I finally saw a doctor that doesn’t give a shit about brain injuries. I am on many brain injury support groups, and I hear about this happening all the time. I tell others to keep explaining their symptoms until they are heard. I will continue to push information about brain injuries. Whether he reads my book or not, he needs to become more educated.

I left livid. Yes, I was so frustrated after the appointment. I wasn’t acknowledged about my TBI, except for the blank look, and the “Hmmm” reaction, and that pissed me off. He didn’t care.

I’m sorry to all of you that do not have an advocate with you to say, “Yes, this is happening.” My husband didn’t want to come to my appointment with me. He said “You’re a big girl. You can do it yourself.” Well guess what?!  It doesn’t matter if “I’m a big girl.” I still can’t remember the answers to this doctor’s questions. No, I cannot remember the names of old medicines I was on years ago. But I told the doctor if he wants to know the medicines I have been on during the past few years, he could look in my record. I don’t know the last time I was depressed. I had told him, “12 years ago.” I told the doctor, “I have a brain injury. I can’t remember.” I told him to look back in my records, that would tell him. ”After my appointment I asked my husband, and he said it was just a few months ago.

There is nothing worse than feeling like you are being doubted about your condition, your brain injury, and how it affects you. Like the doctor doesn’t care and just wants to move on after you have told him about the biggest, most important thing about yourself. All I can say is, now I know how it feels and I am sorry for every single person this happens to. It makes us feel like we are shit.

And that is the biggest reason I wrote my book. That is why my daughter Veronica and I teach students at high schools. No matter what these kids decide to be as adults, they have heard about brain injuries. We are advocates and we’re trying to educate as many people as we possibly can. Veronica and I have been in newspapers, on podcasts. I have been interviewed on The Power of the Patient Project: The National Library of Patient Rights and Advocacy. You can find it to watch by looking up Dawn Corbelli interview on google. I have been on 5 radio shows, heard in 37 countries. We have taught over 800 students, teachers, and school counselors about brain injuries, all in the past two years. We are not done yet. This is only the beginning for us.

            Teach, talk, share about your brain injury to whoever will listen. NOONE knows your story better than YOU.

If you would like to learn more, my book titled, A Miracle a Day, One Day at a Time: Hope After Traumatic Brain Injury is available on amazon and here on my website. dawncorbelli.com Go to Menu. Press Book. Scroll down and it is there to buy in paperback and on Kindle.

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Have a beautiful day, and always remember, brain injury or not, you are special and deserve to be heard and believed.