Can you imagine going through life, not knowing how to use money?
Money to Veronica, our severely brain injured daughter, is like monopoly money. It has no value. For the first few years after Veronica’s severe brain injury, she just held her money out in her hand and let the cashier take what was needed. She couldn’t count her change; she could have been taken advantage of and ripped off countless times… and she would never even know.
Here we are 15 years later, at 31, Veronica can count her money, but doesn’t know when or when it is not okay to spend it. From the time she looks in her account to see how much she has until it’s time to make a purchase, she forgets or ignores how much she has. She is unable to budget money, saving for bigger purchases she really wants. Her impulse control is very poor, and she wants what seems like everything, not in greed or in a sense that she deserves it. She just wants so many things. Things are very disposable to Veronica. She buys them, but soon she doesn’t want them anymore, so she gets rid of them. She buys and buys until her money is gone. Veronica is on SSI and does not get much money each month. Saving is something she doesn’t know how to do, no matter how many times we talk about it with her. She still spends frivolously.
Veronica had her debit card on file with Amazon and it is so easy for anyone to just click and purchase. So, she closed her account. We thought that would be the end of the problem, but it wasn’t. We cannot go into stores, ever, without Veronica finding things she wants to buy. It is so hard to be the person who so often must tell Veronica, “NO,” because she doesn’t have the money. After spending without asking, which she is supposed to do each and every time, I soon look like the bad guy. Veronica has a certain amount of money transferred to her checking account each week. The problem is, she transfers more to her checking account from her savings whenever her checking account becomes empty or overdrawn. She says, “If there is money in my account, I will see something for $10, but only have $5 in my account.” She thinks, “I have my card so I can get it.” To her the card means limitless money.
The time has come to take away Veronica’s debit card. We have talked about this. Veronica says it is so stressful to handle her own money. So, this is what we have done to take the burden off her shoulders. She is so relieved. It has taken her many years to realize that she has a problem managing her own money. I will keep her debit card and she will need to ask before making purchases. I will still let her make purchases I don’t necessarily agree with, because it is her money. I respect that and her. I believe many brain injured people struggle with money management and strong impulses to buy things more than anyone may realize, unless they live it.
If you would like to read more about our lives, mother and daughter, as we live having brain injuries, please read my book title,
A Miracle a Day, One Day at a Time: Hope After Traumatic Brain injury.
You can order it off Amazon right here from my website. Go to the Menu, press Book, and scroll down. It is available in paperback and Kindle.
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Have a beautiful week and try not to overspend.
Dawn Corbelli 