Today I went to Safeway to pay for food trays I ordered for a near future event. I was asked to get an extra receipt for the bakery so they could staple it to the order so they would know I paid. After leaving the checkout, I thought, “I should have gotten an extra receipt so I could take it to the deli, so they know I paid when I come to pick up my order.” The line was long where I checked out, so I went to the Customer Service desk to ask them to print out a copy of my receipt. The cashier told me that if I didn’t ask for another receipt when I was in line the first time, I couldn’t get another receipt. I said, “I have a brain injury and I didn’t think of it.” I was becoming super angry, very quickly. All of a sudden I could feel pressure begin to build from under my shoulders at heart level. The pressure went to my head and I could feel my eyes begin to flutter back and forth and I started to feel hot. This is what Veronica and I call going from white to red. We go from fine to seeing red in a matter of two seconds. I felt like a volcano about to erupt. I was trying so hard not to yell. I said, “I just need a copy of the receipt!” Thinking she would somehow make it appear from the cash register. She said, “I can make a copy of it.” And she did. I am on the medication, Naltrexone, which can be used to help someone pause and take a breath before blurting in anger. I have to say this medicine does help me from exploding, many times, but not all the time. It worked today, thank heavens; or I would have definitely made a loud scene and been embarrassed afterward. I have embarrassed my husband, my older non brain injured daughter. I speak for many brain injured people when I say we cannot control it. This going from white to red, happens to brain injured people so quickly and we do not have the impulse control to stop it. It comes with angry, inappropriate behavior, that often includes cuss words coming out of our mouths. I know that I am very thankful for Naltrexone because it worked for me today, as the volcano inside me did not blow up and scream profanities at the cashier.
If you would like to read more about our trials and triumphs as brain injury WARRIORS, please read my book titled,
A Miracle a Day, One Day at a time: Hope After Traumatic Brain Injury
https://store.bookbaby.com/book/a-miracle-a-day-one-day-at-a-time
Please press the link above, if you are interested in buying my book.
Have a beautiful week
Dawn Corbelli 